No one wants to think about losing or quitting a job because of the need to care for elderly relatives. Yet, so many will be forced to confront that possibility. Today, over 10 million adult children are providing home care for aging parents. This is defined as helping with toileting, bathing, dressing and eating (also known as Activities of Daily Living, ADLs). But that number doesn’t even account for the millions more Americans who are providing ongoing help with grocery shopping, driving to appointments, assisting with medical care, financial matters and more!
The truth is, the journey alongside someone who needs elderly care is something like a forced march. Whether the onset of disability is sudden and shocking, or comes in a thousand indiscernible ways, you are not in charge of the speed or direction. You don’t so much chart a course as you constantly course correct. As navigators in this passage with our parents or elder loved ones, we know the destination, but we don’t know the distance. How long is this journey; how far are we going? And how do we find a workable path for all involved? This is no easy task. But before you turn and run the other way, leaving this responsibility to siblings and other family members, here are some suggestions to help prepare you for the road ahead.
Discovering that an elderly parent needs in home care can be distressing news for adult children to handle. This is especially so if there are disagreements about how a parent should be cared for, who should be the caregiver, which funds are to be used, and so on. But take heart! There is no need for families to break up or fight incessantly over senior care; in this blog, we’ll cover some tactics that can be helpful in keeping the peace.